48 Hours of Merzbow
by Aaron J. Marko
Being into all things avant garde, you can only imagine my…uh…joy at discovering Merzbow's 50 cd box set. The Merzbox, a weighty collecton of b-sides and demos culled throughout Masami Akita's career is surely among one of the single largest collections of shit that wasn’t good enough for his other 200 records. That’s a full 25 cd's more than Throbbing Gristle's TG24. Pussies.
Of course, I instantly knew I had to review it.*
Hour 1: I crack open Agni Hotra. I am instantly struck by
mind-numbing repetition, but I attempt to pay close attention to the
opening track. It ends and I realize that I have been taken for a ride
as I could have effectively stopped listening after 30 seconds. Damn
you, Merzbow! I want my 18 minutes back! The album continues with the
same brutal sonic assault until Kunyan which introduces a subtlety that
is sorely missing from the previous tracks. Loops in Flames comes on
and I hallucinate about being a cactus in the desert. Not a good sign.
C-
Hour 2: The second hour begins painfully as my computer begins
screaming at me. I have no idea what Annihiloscillator is supposed to
mean, but given the title, I should've expected nothing less than the
onslaught I am now on the receiving end of. For no apparent reason,
Hair Gun shifts gears from rhythmic static to what i can only describe
as some sort of laser pistol battle before ending abruptly at exactly
13 minutes and 17 seconds. I have started to lose track of what's
going on. I need a break. C+
Hour 3: After a well deserved rest, I decide it’s time to get back
down to business. Brain Ticket Death is next. Not a good sign.
Surprisingly, the 34 minute opening track is more subdued than the
previous few. It also seems to be one of the more complex pieces.
There are lots of weird noises, static, and screaming. I turn the
volume down and it’s almost soothing in a “sheer fucking insanity” sort
of way. A-
Hour 4: I’m at a loss to describe what I’m hearing now. It’s like
what it would sound like if you were driving through a really long
tunnel and stuck a microphone out the window intermittently bringing it
inside to scream into it. There’s a lot of feedback on this disc.
Perhaps instead of calling it Cloud Cock 00 Grand a better title
would’ve been Mr. Merzbow’s Feedback-O-Rama Super Happy X-treme Noise
Show. B+
Hour 5: I’ve quickly, (in the context of the Merzbox), come to the
conclusion that Merzbow is just screwing with everyone. Fuck the Sex
Pistols. Great rock and roll swindle, thy name is Merzbox! Soon the
air fills with some electronics and what sounds like an accordion
dying. No, Merzbow! Don’t kill it! What did it ever do to you? I am
filled with the burning desire to turn it off. This shit is making me
dizzy. D-
Hour 6: Oh look, there’s more. Who cares? All this shit sounds the
same. Frankly, I’m starting to wonder why I bothered thus far. Damn
this journalistic integrity of mine. Things start to get interesting
again with Merz Scat and Merztronics Jazz Mix but I turn it off. Fuck
this shit. I’m done with it. I know enough about Merzbow to know that
there is no light at the end of the tunnel, only more Merzbow. A
Final Conclusions
Anyone who says art is subjective has never had to listen to the
Merzbox, because this art is obviously shit. I would like to meet the
person who paid $500 for this so I can punch them in the face. I don’t
know what makes me angrier – the fact that anyone actually wasted that
much money on this collection or the fact that Merzbow actually
convinced anyone $500 was a reasonable price for this nonsense. Maybe
if I were wealthier I would give this out in much the same fashion that
one would dispense fruitcakes at Christmas.
Honestly, this is far more fascinating as a work of art, a la Jackson Pollock. That said, I fucking hate Jackson Pollock too.
*For the purposes of further confounding and aggravating the Merzbow
fanbase, all records were listened to alphabetically, as opposed to
their proper numerical order. Though, for anyone who’s actually
listened to the Merzbox, you know it doesn’t really matter.
